Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
