We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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