I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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