I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
