no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
