Do you still have your period?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize