Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize