This dress was meant to end up on your floor
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.