It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Found your bra
Hanging in the tree