I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.