He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS