So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
