if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
