Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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