32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
