what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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