I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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