I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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