weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
