I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
