i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize