I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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