Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
