So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
