just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
