So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
