My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
