is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
