she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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