I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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