Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
