his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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