i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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