It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
