Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
