"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
