i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
