discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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