He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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