Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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