I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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