You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
