just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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