Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
