I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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