thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
