Sry I called you an 8
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
