Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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