i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
