Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm both gender and math confused
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
