theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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