The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
