The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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