absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
