Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize