he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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