How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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