I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
