i think my tv is drunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
