I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
