U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
