I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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